I really hope I don't need to describe what happened at the museum.


There's a joke in here somewhere, one I probably already made back when I cared about doing LPs of hacks nobody cares about.


The Route who cares rival battle shows that Aichiya forgot to make this game as Canon As Possible (tm) so he replaced Renko's Chibi Marisa with a Chibi Kirisame. Unfortunately from a gameplay standpoint it makes little to no sense, depending on how much you want to defend it.


Here's the oblitatory map edit. I don't mind it too much since the route hasn't been completely butchered in the name of the Ledge God, and it lets you skip a bit of grass, so hey. Nice one.


Chibi Komachi doesn't evolve until level 24. This should set the tone of the rest of the hack rather well, I feel.


Here we have the other map edit, which is where the Psychic was booted and that I don't care enough to remember how to access right now since the cycling road bridge is totally solid and this is great. I probably have to Surf or something, and I'm sure one of the three people I'm going to show this to is going to tell me how to do this, so let's get this out there and just say that I don't care.


200 attack at level 18. Things like this really shouldn't bother me.


fat


Up until this point I thought Pokemon > Boneka was a find+replace job in a hex editor.


The Verdanturf Oldman Shop looks like it's a part of the Rusturf Tunnel.


That screaming you hear is that of a thousand puppets crying out and being suddenly silenced. This is the perfect way to segue into Wattson being shown the error of his ways.



Wattson's gym wildcards don't make sense at first unless you consider that they're all characters in PoDD, and that only helps somewhat since only half of them are Electric typed. Sadly, there's a reason for this, which I'll touch up on soon. As a related side note, Chibi Chiyuri evolves to Chiyuri at level 24, and then EX at 38.


RIP Tower. We never loved you.


Here's the obligatory map edit on this route. This one doesn't even make a lick of sense.


well okay


1) Remove the best route BGM from Emerald
2) Divide the route in half
3) BEST EMERALD HACK EVER


The final Oldman shop resides in this natural pyramid.


I'm sure this is the source of many a funny joke as well. Something like "WAIT, YOU MEAN THERE'S MORE OF THESE JERKS?!" would suffice.


While this isn't any different from vanilla Emerald (I don't believe, since nobody walks up here) I'd just like to say that the Aqua grunt is in a rather tactically unsound position.


What does she even have to do with volcanoes or Utsuho or anything Aichiya man you're killing me


We then skip a bunch of plot and pretend I never wrote in colored text at any point in my Pokemon Let's Play career.


Here we have some Fire types dying to Shadow Ball, which is par for the course. What isn't par for the course is this wonderful inclusion that marks the point where this hack goes from mediocre at best to hilarious:


Yes, that is Mystia's signature move. Do you know why this is a thing?





On the left is World Link, and on the right is the initial release of Anjirusensei's hack, Touhoumon Scarlet Emerald, which he pulled from the internet some time around when World Link was released. Nearly every Gym Leader and Elite Four member is like this, which explains why Norman uses nothing resembling Normal types and all the previous wildcards. The exceptions to this are when the trainer only has 4 Pokemon in vanilla Emerald, where Aichiya just chose four puppets from the Scarlet team instead of all six, and where the puppet simply doesn't exist in WL (such as XMystia), where he just picks a different puppet and does not edit the moveset at all.


This is especially funny at Sidney, where he has an EX Shou that uses Memento on you. Either way, that's way too many words without any pretty pictures to distract you, so here's the last member of Flannery's team that was already shown up there. Norman time!


And by Norman, I mean his gym. The illegal evolutions are getting ridiculous at this point: Aya > EAya at 38, CSuika > Suika at 26, Suika > EX at 42, and Lily > ELily at 40.


This one is especially offensive, because Chibi Flandre > Flandre at level 30, and Flandre > EX Flandre at level 60. It also launches Shadow Balls at you with 130 Attack and Pure Power, because Flandre was rather balanced when she had Hustle instead and we can't have balance in a Touhou hack.


And then there's.. this. Which should have evolved at level 18. You know what Aichiya? Whatever you say. Keep distracting your mindless fans with Vocaloids, I'm sure they won't speak up or anything.



After an extremely difficult battle I come out on top against Yukari Norman and achieve victory without actually achieving victory. This is about as boring for you to read as it was for me to play in-game.

Stay tuned for next time, where I'll embed a dubstep remix of His World into the HTML and faceroll Kanto for a little bit.